Sunday, January 18, 2009

Love, Trust, Respect

Love: The natural feeling of affection one has for somebody else
Trust: The feeling of security that someone else will not hurt or harm you
Respect: The feeling of added value that someone provides to you or to the environment

A healthy relationship is based on respect.
It's when:
-you have fun together
-you both feel like you can be yourself
-you can have different opinions and interests
-you listen to each other
-you trust each other
-you can both compromise, say sorry, and talk arguments out
-you don't have to spend all of you spare time together - you can spend time on your own, or with your own friends and family.

TIPS to help you and your partner develop trust in each other.
-Be consistent.
-Be on time. When you have to be late, call and say you'll be late.
-Do what you say you will do, and call when you say you will call.
-Don't lie - not even little white lies - to your partner or to others.
-Be fair, even in an argument.
-Be sensitive to the other's feelings. You can still disagree, but don't discount how your partner feels.
-Carry your fair share of chores.
-Respect your partner's boundaries.
-Be a good listener.
-Try not to overreact when things go wrong.
-Don't dig up old wounds. Remember that once you say things, you can't take them back.
-Don't be jealous.

~ Trust allows both of you to reveal who you really are ~

Building Trust
Trust doesn't just naturally happen between two people, even if they love each other. It takes work and if you've been hurt in the past, it can be especially difficult. Building trust takes time, you need to show your partner that you are trustworthy and that you trust them in return. If your partner has trouble trusting, you can do a lot to create an environment where trust can grow. Listen to your partner, respect him and his opinions, and accept him as he is. Reveal parts of your own history, show him that you trust him and you will help him to do the same. If you are vulnerable it helps your partner to feel that he is safe to be vulnerable as well.


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