Trust: Reward or Heartbreak?

“She broke my heart; I thought I could trust her!”

“I can trust him with my life; I know that his word is good.”

What a totally different feeling each of these statements evokes. The first engenders pain, anger and channels our energy toward survival. The second instills peace, a sense of security, and an amazing freedom to direct our energy toward creative and productive personal and partnership tasks.

The foundation for any satisfying and enduring life or business partnership is TRUST. Think about your relationship right now, do you absolutely trust your partner in all things? Probably not 100% as none of us is perfect, but hopefully in those things that count.

Where is absolute trust mandatory to sustain either a life or business partnership?

• Does it matter that she calls another man on the phone?
• Is it okay for him to be late coming home?

It is all about boundaries. Boundaries are the limits or parameters established by the partnership, when these are adhered to [by both parties] trust reaps abundant rewards, when they are violated, heartbreak results.

The secret thus is to be fully aware of what these boundaries are. Sounds simple enough? On the surface it appears to be, but we all bring a variety of expectations to a partnership and it is critical to establish relationship ground rules.

If you haven’t already done so, start talking today. Where to begin? The most obvious needs are where the rubs in your relationship occur. We’re not talking about chores or fundamental tasks; we’re talking about boundary issues, for example:

• Is it okay for him to have single woman friends?
• Is it okay for her to have lunch with her ex?

Matters of trust generally revolve around issues of physical and emotional fidelity. For most it is blatantly obvious that physical intimacy with another is a violation of trust, while emailing or chatting on the internet with members of the opposite gender might be seen as perfectly okay. [An aside: This is a form of emotional cheating, more on this another time.]

So, to reap the rewards of Trust it is essential to establish mutually agreeable boundaries round that partnership of yours. Do this by having an open, honest, loving dialog. Remember, at the core is that desire to capture and sustain a sense of security, energy, and peace ~ one of the most coveted prizes of life.